My cousin — who writes amazing poetry by the way — once told me he’s almost always in awe of the pieces I write. He wonders about the machinations of my mind and how I’m able to switch to writing the way I do. I’m either always too busy or too lax to tap into my creative side but it seems like whenever I decide to open up my writing pad, dope shit pours out…
…which is almost never true. In fact, I’ve only once written a piece which was good enough that I put it out there, without reviewing or editing. I was probably possessed by the gods of literary creativity, or so it felt. However, because of the praise and applause I get for most of my pieces, there is now the pressure to always drop dope shit. Like Vector, in the song Popular, when he said, “…you better be steadily ready to deliver dope when it’s time to burst”, or Eminem, in Walk on Water, “The rhyme has to be perfect; the delivery flawless”
So drafts go to that place where all deleted things go. It always feels like I know what I’m trying to say but it just has to be captivating enough so I get another round of ohhhs and ahhhs. So my expression is streamlined. If a thing gets my attention but doesn’t seem like it will capture an audience’s attention, it gets shelved. I have an insane amount of drafts, lots of short stories swimming in the deep recesses of my brain — never to see the light of day.
I’m torn between being iconic like Kendrick Lamar, who only comes up from a lengthy hiatus to drop an amazing album, or being like these other artistes who keep dropping mid stuff till they get a hit.
It’s a battle, a struggle… I always imagine there’s an audience out there, thirsting for the artful pieces which I pour out from my brain, who would be repulsed by seemingly mid stuff.
So I ask myself, “Do I always have to drop dope shit?”
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P.S: I just re-read this and yeah, it’s dope-ish shit.
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dope: [adjective] [informal] very good.
